barners Go to Washington

[Chechem]

The team was reported to have a great time at the Arlington petting zoo. Cam was bragging that he got to 3rd base with a goat.

Just wrong. 

[BAMAWV]

CGC asked BHO if he could see his oval orifice.

[ssmith general]

CGC asked BHO if he could see his oval orifice.

I worked on an oval office one, couldnt get it to work out.  Best I had was, "they thought the oval office was a port-a-john"

[pmull]

BHO was disappointed when he found out his favorite barn player, Scam Newton, may not make the trip to the Whitehouse due to obligations with the NFL draft. BHO phoned CGC to see if there was anything he could do to get Scam to join the team on the trip. CGC said he would talked to his immediate superior, Cecil Newton, and see what he could do. No one knows exactly what happened but Scam made the trip, $50,000.00 is missing from the Whitehouse check book and Cecil Newton spent the night in the Lincoln bedroom.

[BAMAWV]

The barn team is preparing for the disappointment of having to vacate their 2010 NC trophy, but were caught by surprise with the disappointment they were handed in Washington DC.  After players and coaches spent their own money to bring bags of biscuits to the White House, they learned that the White House was not the processing plant for the famous White House Apple Butter. The Winchester, Virginia corporation laughed off requests for comment.

CGC made his position clear by stating, "We'll never drink their Apple Juice again. We feel we have been lied to and the looks on the faces of our team tells the story"!

[BAMAWV]

barn trip postponed. Seriously.

[ricky023]

Well they can take their trip later. I think they are trying to get together to come help out in T-town aren't they? RTR!

[BAMAWV]

                                          Bobby Lowder Handcuffed at White House Reception
 
The press gathered around the barn football team in the White House reception area, awaiting  President Obama. The team was being honored at the White House despite widespread agreement that the team's championship would soon be vacated. But all seemed excited and somewhat in awe, amidst the historical surroundings. Anticipatory chatter ran high, but as the heavy wooden doors with shined gold handles opened, a hush came over the crowd. A silence only broken by the clicking of camera shutters and tape recorder buttons.
 
Ceremonial order was encroached upon as West Georgia University Board of Trustees member Bobby Lowder elbowed his way to the front of the honorees, and threw himself kneeling, at the mans feet. Staring down at beltway polished shoes, Lowder began a long but informative tirade of admissions and excuses. He admitted to Colonial Bank improprieties and illegalities, fraud, and usury. He gave details including account numbers and offshore bank names, with details about defrauding the TARP application process. He outlined the Ponzi-like scam and elaborated on how this was tied to the barn pay-for-play allegations.  Mr. Lowder then begged for forgiveness and asked for a full presidential pardon.
 
As a tearful Lowder looked up from floor to the man towering in front, the White House staffer spoke, "President Obama has asked that I convey his sincere apologies, but he will be delayed a few more minutes".

[BAMAWV]

They thought the Chesapeake was a strip club.

Tidal basin?

[BAMAWV]

This gem captured from the barn newspaper EIEIO:

                     The Eerie Comparisons Between the Cancelled barn Trip To DC and 911
 
Our football program has been dealt another heavy blow with the postponement of the Washington DC trip. The athletic department gathered the team to break the disappointing  news. "All things considered the team took the news well. Only a couple of our players cried" said CGC. The team was given pop-up Washington DC tourist books to soften the blow, but the pain still lingered on their faces. "We can only compare this to nine eleven," said barn spokesman Charles from Reeltown. The similarities are glaring:
 
1. Nine eleven is a phone number. We were contacted by the White House on a phone number!
2. People are sad when they call 911. We are sad, too.
3. Sometimes people have trouble relaying their situation on 911. We are finding it difficult to express the depth of our disappointment.
4. 911 has trained operators handling phone calls. We know how to use phones, as well.
5. The 911 system sometimes takes calls from stupid people. We...
 
 

[ssmith general]

This gem captured from the barn newspaper EIEIO:

                     The Eerie Comparisons Between the Cancelled barn Trip To DC and 911
 
Our football program has been dealt another heavy blow with the postponement of the Washington DC trip. The athletic department gathered the team to break the disappointing  news. "All things considered the team took the news well. Only a couple of our players cried" said CGC. The team was given pop-up Washington DC tourist books to soften the blow, but the pain still lingered on their faces. "We can only compare this to nine eleven," said barn spokesman Charles from Reeltown. The similarities are glaring:
 
1. Nine eleven is a phone number. We were contacted by the White House on a phone number!
2. People are sad when they call 911. We are sad, too.
3. Sometimes people have trouble relaying their situation on 911. We are finding it difficult to express the depth of our disappointment.
4. 911 has trained operators handling phone calls. We know how to use phones, as well.
5. The 911 system sometimes takes calls from stupid people. We...
 
 

 

[ricky023]

I would think they would be helping clean-up instead of visiting. RTR!

[BAMAWV]

                       Impromptu Party Scheduled to Make Up For DC Postponement

barn University has announced a party will be held to buffer the pain felt by the team, due to the cancellation/postponement of the Washington DC trip to meet the President. Officials say the party will be held today in the parking lot and all fambly members are invited to attend. The west georgia institute for farming lessons has yet to receive NCAA clearance but felt that in light of the postponement tragedy, exceptions would surely be made.

The party will include pony rides,--always a big hit with our team. Reports have players out "hitting" the Feed and Seed to buy spurs and oats. Also a hit at these events will be the prefunctory balloon animals. "We feel that we can have fun and teach at the same time" said barn spokesman Clem Kadittlehopper. Bobbing for goobers, pin the tail on the donkey, horseshoes, and "who is not as smart as a five year old farmer" will be enjoyed by all. Call 1-800-tha-barn for details.

[ricky023]

Wow! This is some what, well I don't know some what? RTR!

[BAMAWV]

Wow! This is some what, well I don't know some what? RTR!

LOL. You do realize I'm making this stuff up?

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