***The Official CRS Joke Thread***

[ricky023]

"This is the Greatest Illusion." is what is gonna happen in Baton Rouge Sat. RTR!

[Chechem]

"This is the Greatest Illusion." is what is gonna happen in Baton Rouge Sat. RTR!

Starring The GREAT TUA!!

[2Stater]

"This is the Greatest Illusion." is what is gonna happen in Baton Rouge Sat. RTR!

Starring The GREAT TUA!!

  E-cred!

[N.AL-Tider]

"This is the Greatest Illusion." is what is gonna happen in Baton Rouge Sat. RTR!

Starring The GREAT TUA!!

I know the text appears of him saying the word "Tide" but somewhat reading his lips it doesn't appear  that he actually does.  I think something's up with that gif...

[Hannibal Lecter, MD]

I wouldn't mind having one of those jackets.

[XBAMA]

PSA

[Hannibal Lecter, MD]

E-cred for that one, XBama.

[2Stater]

PSA

 

[cbbama99]

Here's one I stole from I believe good ole Jerry Clower:

A Methodist minister from Mississippi and his wife were Chicago for a conference. As it happened, the conference was held at a separate venue from where the couple were staying so they rented a car to drive across town.

The minister, who was dressed in his clerical robes for the conference, was not watching his speed and was pulled over by a police officer. As the officer approached the car, he believed he had pulled over a Catholic priest.

"Oh, I'm sorry Father," said the cop. "I hope I have not detained you from your work. Please continue on, just watch your speed from now on."

"Bless you, my son," said the minister, and drove on.

The wife looked at him and said, "You ought to be ashamed of yourself, a Christian man like yourself making that boy believe you was a priest!"

The minister looked over at his wife. "You best be glad he didn't want to know who you were."

[Chechem]

Here's one I stole from I believe good ole Jerry Clower:

A Methodist minister from Mississippi and his wife were Chicago for a conference. As it happened, the conference was held at a separate venue from where the couple were staying so they rented a car to drive across town.

The minister, who was dressed in his clerical robes for the conference, was not watching his speed and was pulled over by a police officer. As the officer approached the car, he believed he had pulled over a Catholic priest.

"Oh, I'm sorry Father," said the cop. "I hope I have not detained you from your work. Please continue on, just watch your speed from now on."

"Bless you, my son," said the minister, and drove on.

The wife looked at him and said, "You ought to be ashamed of yourself, a Christian man like yourself making that boy believe you was a priest!"

The minister looked over at his wife. "You best be glad he didn't want to know who you were."

Never heard that one (that I recall).   

[2Stater]

Here's one I stole from I believe good ole Jerry Clower:

A Methodist minister from Mississippi and his wife were Chicago for a conference. As it happened, the conference was held at a separate venue from where the couple were staying so they rented a car to drive across town.

The minister, who was dressed in his clerical robes for the conference, was not watching his speed and was pulled over by a police officer. As the officer approached the car, he believed he had pulled over a Catholic priest.

"Oh, I'm sorry Father," said the cop. "I hope I have not detained you from your work. Please continue on, just watch your speed from now on."

"Bless you, my son," said the minister, and drove on.

The wife looked at him and said, "You ought to be ashamed of yourself, a Christian man like yourself making that boy believe you was a priest!"

The minister looked over at his wife. "You best be glad he didn't want to know who you were."

Good one, CB! 

[Chechem]

A friend of mine and I were on a church-sponsored trip (I know, right?) to Mexico about 6 years ago.  We were there directing locals on building water-filtering systems in the Yucatan.  I was there because of my skills, not my religious history.

Anyhow, my buddy and I had gone into town in the church van for lunch and a beer, and we were stopped by a military roadblock.  They were searching for bad guys.  I was driving, so when a guy with an AK walked up to my window and asked for our registration papers for the van (which we didn't have), I said (with stumbling Spanish):

"Somos misioneros".  [We're missionaries]

My buddy spewed spit onto the floor laughing, but hid it from the AK guys.

An officer walked up, asked the AK guy 'what's up?', and I heard AK say "misioneros".
The officer smacked AK with an open-handed slap to the head.
We drove on.

Thus ended my missionary life!  

[Catch Prothro]

A taxi driver had a run of bad luck and was down to his last point on his commercial drivers license.  He pulled up to La Guardia airport, when into his cab jumps the Pope.

"Hurry up man," says the Pope, "I'm late for a meeting of U.S. Bishops in downtown Manhattan."

""I'm sorry, your Holiness," says the cabbie, "but if I speed I'll lose my license."

"Then get in the back and let me drive," says the Pope.

The cabbie thinks about it for a second, and decides, "What the heck, it's the Pope," so he gets in the back seat and lets the Pope take the wheel.

The Pope is speeding through New York like an experienced cabbie.  He's passing cars using the merge lane.  He's running red lights.  He's taking alleyways. 

Just as they stop outside the building for the Pope's meeting, a police car pulls up behind them with its lights flashing.  The officer gets out of the patrol car, walks up to the cab, takes one look at the Pope, and then walks back to his patrol car.

He calls the station to speak with his superior.

"I just pulled over someone very important and I don't know what to do," he says.

"Is is the mayor?" asks his boss.

"No, it's not the mayor," says the officer.  "He's more important than the mayor."

"Is it the Governor?" asks his boss.

"No, it's not the Governor," says the officer.  "He's more important that the Governor."

"What?" says his boss. "It's not the the President, is it?"

"No," says the cabbie, "he's more important that the President."

"More important that the President?"  asks his boss.  "Who could be more important than the President?"

"I don't know," says the police officer, "but he's got the Pope driving him around."

[N.AL-Tider]

A taxi driver had a run of bad luck and was down to his last point on his commercial drivers license.  He pulled up to La Guardia airport, when into his cab jumps the Pope.

"Hurry up man," says the Pope, "I'm late for a meeting of U.S. Bishops in downtown Manhattan."

""I'm sorry, your Holiness," says the cabbie, "but if I speed I'll lose my license."

"Then get in the back and let me drive," says the Pope.

The cabbie thinks about it for a second, and decides, "What the heck, it's the Pope," so he gets in the back seat and lets the Pope take the wheel.

The Pope is speeding through New York like an experienced cabbie.  He's passing cars using the merge lane.  He's running red lights.  He's taking alleyways. 

Just as they stop outside the building for the Pope's meeting, a police car pulls up behind them with its lights flashing.  The officer gets out of the patrol car, walks up to the cab, takes one look at the Pope, and then walks back to his patrol car.

He calls the station to speak with his superior.

"I just pulled over someone very important and I don't know what to do," he says.

"Is is the mayor?" asks his boss.

"No, it's not the mayor," says the officer.  "He's more important than the mayor."

"Is it the Governor?" asks his boss.

"No, it's not the Governor," says the officer.  "He's more important that the Governor."

"What?" says his boss. "It's not the the President, is it?"

"No," says the cabbie, "he's more important that the President."

"More important that the President?"  asks his boss.  "Who could be more important than the President?"

"I don't know," says the police officer, "but he's got the Pope driving him around."

  Ecred worthy...

[2Stater]

Bwaaahaaahaaa!!!!! Indeed, E-cred worthy!

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