***The Official CRS Joke Thread***

[2Stater]

  E-cred!

[2Stater]

A farmer had three daughters...
and each was going on a date one Friday night.

The first daughters date showed up "Hi I'm Freddy here to pick up Betty to eat spaghetti, is she ready?"

Betty left with Freddy.

The second daughters date showed up "Hey I'm Joe here to pick up Flo to go to the show, is she ready to go?"

Flo left with Joe.

The third daughters date showed up "Hello I'm Chuck-"

The farmer shot him.

[Chechem]

A farmer had three daughters...
and each was going on a date one Friday night.

The first daughters date showed up "Hi I'm Freddy here to pick up Betty to eat spaghetti, is she ready?"

Betty left with Freddy.

The second daughters date showed up "Hey I'm Joe here to pick up Flo to go to the show, is she ready to go?"

Flo left with Joe.

The third daughters date showed up "Hello I'm Chuck-"

The farmer shot him.

[N.AL-Tider]

A farmer had three daughters...
and each was going on a date one Friday night.

The first daughters date showed up "Hi I'm Freddy here to pick up Betty to eat spaghetti, is she ready?"

Betty left with Freddy.

The second daughters date showed up "Hey I'm Joe here to pick up Flo to go to the show, is she ready to go?"

Flo left with Joe.

The third daughters date showed up "Hello I'm Chuck-"

The farmer shot him.

[SUPERCOACH]

A farmer had three daughters...
and each was going on a date one Friday night.

The first daughters date showed up "Hi I'm Freddy here to pick up Betty to eat spaghetti, is she ready?"

Betty left with Freddy.

The second daughters date showed up "Hey I'm Joe here to pick up Flo to go to the show, is she ready to go?"

Flo left with Joe.

The third daughters date showed up "Hello I'm Chuck-"

The farmer shot him.

Poor Chuck liked to eat duck but he ran out of luck.

[2Stater]

A farmer had three daughters...
and each was going on a date one Friday night.

The first daughters date showed up "Hi I'm Freddy here to pick up Betty to eat spaghetti, is she ready?"

Betty left with Freddy.

The second daughters date showed up "Hey I'm Joe here to pick up Flo to go to the show, is she ready to go?"

Flo left with Joe.

The third daughters date showed up "Hello I'm Chuck-"

The farmer shot him.

Poor Chuck liked to eat duck but he ran out of luck.

  Boy, did that suck.

[2Stater]

Tiger Woods & Stevie Wonder are in a bar...

Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going?"

Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?"

Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right now."

Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right."

Incredulous, Tiger says, "You play GOLF?"

Stevie says, "Yes, I've been playing for years."

Tiger says, "But -- you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?"

Stevie Wonder replies, "Well, I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice."

But, "How do you putt" asks Tiger.

"Well", says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball toward his voice."

Tiger asks, "What's your handicap?"

Stevie says, "Well, actually -- I'm a scratch golfer."

Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime."

Stevie replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole. Is that a problem?"

Woods thinks about it and says, "I can afford that; OK, I'm game for that. $10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to play?"

Stevie Wonder says, "Pick a night."

[Chechem]

 

E-cred

[N.AL-Tider]

Tiger Woods & Stevie Wonder are in a bar...

Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going?"

Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?"

Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right now."

Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right."

Incredulous, Tiger says, "You play GOLF?"

Stevie says, "Yes, I've been playing for years."

Tiger says, "But -- you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?"

Stevie Wonder replies, "Well, I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice."

But, "How do you putt" asks Tiger.

"Well", says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball toward his voice."

Tiger asks, "What's your handicap?"

Stevie says, "Well, actually -- I'm a scratch golfer."

Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime."

Stevie replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole. Is that a problem?"

Woods thinks about it and says, "I can afford that; OK, I'm game for that. $10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to play?"

Stevie Wonder says, "Pick a night."

Awesome!   

[2Stater]

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.

 

Well, he's a little pissed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

 

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

 

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk."

 

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "You gonna tell him or should I”?

[Chechem]

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.

Well, he's a little pissed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "You gonna tell him or should I”?

There's a familiar theme to your jokes.   

[2Stater]

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.

Well, he's a little pissed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "You gonna tell him or should I”?

There's a familiar theme to your jokes.   

I think this was one of my fishing jokes, too. 

[Chechem]

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.

...
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "You gonna tell him or should I”?

There's a familiar theme to your jokes.   

I think this was one of my fishing jokes, too. 

Better save a few in case we actually get to the beach this year. 
 

[2Stater]

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.

...
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "You gonna tell him or should I”?

There's a familiar theme to your jokes.   

I think this was one of my fishing jokes, too. 

Better save a few in case we actually get to the beach this year. 
 

My joke arsenal is pretty loaded. Retrieving them is the issue. 

[Chechem]

....
My joke arsenal is pretty loaded. Retrieving them is the issue. 

I know.  And I've heard them all, but as I get older they're still new to me.
 

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