***The Official CRS Joke Thread***

[2Stater]

A local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation.

 

“He's a funeral director,” she answered.
 

‘Interesting,’ the newsman thought to himself.
 

He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.
 

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.  After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20’s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40’s, and a preacher when in her 60’s, and now - in her 80’s - a funeral director.
 

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
 

 She smiled and explained, “I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”

[N.AL-Tider]

A local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation.

 

“He's a funeral director,” she answered.
 

‘Interesting,’ the newsman thought to himself.
 

He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.
 

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.  After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20’s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40’s, and a preacher when in her 60’s, and now - in her 80’s - a funeral director.
 

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
 

 She smiled and explained, “I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”

[Chechem]

 

[Hannibal Lecter, MD]

Perhaps Runt could work that one into his show.

[2Stater]

Perhaps Runt could work that one into his show.

 

[N.AL-Tider]

Perhaps Runt could work that one into his show.

[2Stater]

[Chechem]

    Bhwaaaaaahahahaha

[2Stater]

[2Stater]

[2Stater]

[N.AL-Tider]

1. THINGY (thing-ee) N.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-NE-Ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-in- Kay-shon) N.
Female.. The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) N.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn- ment) N.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male..... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-U-lens) N.
Female.... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king Luv) N.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (RI-moht kon-trohl) N.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.​

[N.AL-Tider]

One day, farmer Williams was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil. Then, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.

However, he now had a problem, how to carry all of his purchases home?

The livestock dealer said: "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"

"Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went.

While walking he met a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked: "Can you tell me how to get to 123 Township Road?"

The farmer said: "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 132 Township Road. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time"

The little old lady said: "How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"

The farmer said: "Holy smokes lady, I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"

The lady said: "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."

[Chechem]

One day, farmer Williams was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil. Then, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.

However, he now had a problem, how to carry all of his purchases home?

The livestock dealer said: "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"

"Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went.

While walking he met a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked: "Can you tell me how to get to 123 Township Road?"

The farmer said: "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 132 Township Road. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time"

The little old lady said: "How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"

The farmer said: "Holy smokes lady, I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"

The lady said: "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."

[Chechem]

1. THINGY (thing-ee) N.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

...
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-in- Kay-shon) N.
Female.. The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) N.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

'''

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