***The Official CRS Joke Thread***

[Chechem]

Two good ol’ boys in an Auburn trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.

After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, “If’n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife while you was off huntin’ and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?”

The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, “Well, I don’t know about kin, but it would make us even.”

  One I haven't heard before. 

But no Aub is that smart!   

[N.AL-Tider]

It was a bright Sunday morning and Mr. Smith is reading his morning paper at the front porch when his only child came up to him.

“Dad, I’m pregnant,” confessed the child.

Mr. Smith just looked up, shook his head, and continued reading.

“That’s it? Aren’t you going to say something? Are you mad? Are you happy? Won’t you even congratulate me?” cried the child.

Mr. Smith calmly looked at the child and said, “What is wrong with you, Robert?”

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

That one would actually be really funny if it weren't potentially true...   

[N.AL-Tider]

Two farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.

Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college and sign up for some classes."

Bob agrees it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day Jim goes down to the college and meets the dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and logic.

"Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?"
The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weed eater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."

"I have a family.

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife.

"Yes, I do have a wife."

"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a Heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that just because I have a weed eater."

Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar.

He tells Bob about his classes, how he signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Bob says, "What’s that?"

Jim says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weed eater?"

"No."

"Then you're gay"

[2Stater]

One of my all time favorite jokes! 

[2Stater]

[Chechem]

 

[2Stater]

[Chechem]

 

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lWJXDG2i0A" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lWJXDG2i0A</a>

[2Stater]

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lWJXDG2i0A" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lWJXDG2i0A</a>

Great song! 

[Chechem]

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lWJXDG2i0A" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lWJXDG2i0A</a>

Great song! 

And lovely children in the video.   

[Chechem]

[Chechem]

[2Stater]

 

[pmull]

Extra Bitter. HTH

[N.AL-Tider]

I'm sure Chech knows all about this one so I'll defer to him for verification...



It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1960 and Fred had a date
with Peggy Sue. He arrived at her house and rang the bell.

"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in. "Have
a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade?
Iced tea?"

"Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.

"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.

"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the
malt shop, maybe take a walk on the beach..."

"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.

"Uh...really?" Fred replied, with raised eyebrows.

"Oh, yes!" the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends,
that's all they do!"

"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.

"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if
we let her!"

"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about
alternate plans for the evening.

A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a
picture wearing a pink blouse and full circle skirt, and with her hair
tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.

"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.

Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the
house and slammed the front door behind her.

"The Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother. "The dance is
called the Twist!"

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