***The Official CRS Joke Thread***

[SUPERCOACH]

[Chechem]

 

[N.AL-Tider]

Great!  So now I not only have to battle Chech with funny jokes I also have to take on SC?      

[SUPERCOACH]

Great!  So now I not only have to battle Chech with funny jokes I also have to take on SC?      

Over the years I have come to the conclusion that Chech is right about this stuff.  If you don't believe me, just look how divided the country is right now.

[N.AL-Tider]

So, I just left Walmart. Honestly, it was shocking. They had no toilet paper at all so I headed to the customer service area. I asked if they had any. The attendant gave me a disgusting look and said, “NO.”
Walking back to the restrooms with my pants around my ankles, was a walk I never want to do again.

[SUPERCOACH]

So, I just left Walmart. Honestly, it was shocking. They had no toilet paper at all so I headed to the customer service area. I asked if they had any. The attendant gave me a disgusting look and said, “NO.”
Walking back to the restrooms with my pants around my ankles, was a walk I never want to do again.

[Chechem]

So, I just left Walmart. Honestly, it was shocking. They had no toilet paper at all so I headed to the customer service area. I asked if they had any. The attendant gave me a disgusting look and said, “NO.”
Walking back to the restrooms with my pants around my ankles, was a walk I never want to do again.

 

[N.AL-Tider]

A weasel walks into a bar.

The bartender looks up and says, "Wow!  In all my years tending bar, I've never had a weasel stop by.  What can I get you?"

"Pop," goes the weasel.

[N.AL-Tider]

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by an upset wife. She explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."

Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist, and demand an apology. Before he could say more then a couple of words, the druggist said:

"Now just a minute! Please listen to my side of it"...This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, only to realize that I had locked the house and car keys were inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store there were a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened, and started waiting on these people.

All the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook. I had to break open a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels. The phone was still ringing. When I came up, I cracked my head on the open cash drawer. That made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke. Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up.

When I finally got to answer it, it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a RECTAL thermometer, and believe me Mister, as God is my witness........


all I did was tell her.

[N.AL-Tider]

After having their 11th child, an Auburn couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called vasectomy that could fix the problem, but that it was expensive A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Aubie said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." "Trust me," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

"1"

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand..........

This procedure also works in Kentucky, Mississippi and West Virginia.

[2Stater]

  All gooduns'.

[Chechem]

A weasel walks into a bar.

The bartender looks up and says, "Wow!  In all my years tending bar, I've never had a weasel stop by.  What can I get you?"

"Pop," goes the weasel.

 

[Chechem]

Heard this at the knife show last weekend:

Guy 1: "The other day I had sex with my third cousin."

Guy 2: "That's not so close a relative."

Guy 1: "She was way better than the first two."

 

[N.AL-Tider]

Heard this at the knife show last weekend:

Guy 1: "The other day I had sex with my third cousin."

Guy 2: "That's not so close a relative."

Guy 1: "She was way better than the first two."

 

You "heard"  that one at the knife show?  Or told it?   

[Chechem]

Heard this at the knife show last weekend:

Guy 1: "The other day I had sex with my third cousin."

Guy 2: "That's not so close a relative."

Guy 1: "She was way better than the first two."

 

You "heard"  that one at the knife show?  Or told it?   

Guy at table next to me told it.  I think he's from Arkansas!   

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