***The Official CRS Joke Thread***

[N.AL-Tider]

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this
see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a
fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!

The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times.
You gotta let your rose buds show!" and out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes down stairs, and the grandmother
is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She
explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that
it is just not appropriate ....

The grandmother says, "Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off
your rose buds, then I can display my hanging baskets."

Happy Gardening.

[Chechem]

What's 15' long and smells like urine?














A LINE DANCE AT THE RETIREMENT HOME.

[N.AL-Tider]

What's 15' long and smells like urine?














A LINE DANCE AT THE RETIREMENT HOME.

Personal experience?   

 

[2Stater]

 

[N.AL-Tider]

Little Johnny watched his Daddy's car pass by the school playground and gointo the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he
could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his
mother.

"Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods
with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big
kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane........"

At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner! table, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story about the car going into the woods, the undressing, Aunt Jane laying down on the back seat. Then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army."

[Chechem]

[Chechem]

[Chechem]

[Chechem]

[2Stater]

 

[Chechem]

[Chechem]

[N.AL-Tider]

New
There was a group of men that always took a "hunting" trip every year together. One of the men in the group, well....his wife did everything for him. So, just before he left on his "hunting" trip, told his wife to pack his luggage, and have it ready to go early in the following morning.

Well...the guys went on their "hunting" trip, and did all kinds of things. During the trip, this one guy went to change his underwear, and become very irate. How in the **** could his wife forget to pack his underwear. He couldn't wait to get home, and share his anger. All the way home, it's all that he could think about. His friends dropped him off at his home, and he came storming into the house, and walked straight up to his wife. "How in the ****, could you have forgotten to pack my underwear?", he spouted.

Her reply, "I didn't......I packed them in your guncase!"

[N.AL-Tider]

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.

The priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"
The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws."

The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"
To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"
The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith"
The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"
The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my Faith."
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, and sat thinking, for about five minutes.
Finally, the rabbi said, "Beats a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"

[Chechem]

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.

The priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"
The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws."

The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"
To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"
The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith"
The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"
The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my Faith."
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, and sat thinking, for about five minutes.
Finally, the rabbi said, "Beats a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"

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