Auburn Jokes

[SUPERCOACH]

Why does Cam keep his Wonderlic results on his dashboard?

So he can park in the handicapped spot.

[SUPERCOACH]

If you see Cam walking down the street with a backpack, why should you refrain from running over him?

He might have your laptop computer in there.

[SUPERCOACH]

[BAMAWV]

If you see Cam walking down the street with a backpack, why should you refrain from running over him?

He might have your laptop computer in there.

Funnier that a backpack full of comic books. I'm guessing that was homemade?

[BAMAWV]

Here is a shout out and an e-cred.

[SUPERCOACH]

What is the first thing the Auburn coaching staff teaches to the freshman football players when they arrive on campus.

"You have the right to remain silent..."

[SUPERCOACH]

If you see Cam walking down the street with a backpack, why should you refrain from running over him?

He might have your laptop computer in there.

Funnier that a backpack full of comic books. I'm guessing that was homemade?

Yep. 

[BAMAWV]

Cash cab!

I have a story I've been telling cab drivers for years. If you are with me, I'll embarass you too. It entails my G'dad having bought yellow paint by accident...

[SUPERCOACH]

Two Auburn football players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the Iron Bowl on Saturday. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a _________."

Dyer was stumped. He had no idea of the answer. He knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped McCalebb on the shoulder. "Pssst. Ontario. What's the answer to the last question?" McCalebb laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed then he turned to Dyer. "Michael, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a farm."

"Oh yeah," said Dyer. "I remember now." He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Reaching to tap McCalebb's shoulder again, he whispered, "Ontario, how do you spell farm?"

"You are really dumb, Michael. That's so easy. Farm is spelled - E-I-E-I-O.".

[SUPERCOACH]

Did you hear about Cam's new shoe endorsement deal?

He now endorses Hush Puppies.

[SUPERCOACH]

A truck driver was driving down the highway when he sees a priest hitchhiking on the road. He stops to pick up the priest, but he has a few misgivings about giving him a ride; usually when the driver sees a barner on the road, he hits them -- with a priest in the truck, he'd have to swerve. But the driver decides to pick up the priest.

A little while later, he comes across a barner hitchhiking. He decides to just swerve and let this one live when, all of a sudden he hears a "BLOOM!" The driver looks over at the priest, who says, "Don't worry -- I got him with the door."

[2Stater]

For Auburn OL Blake Burgess's birthday, his girlfriend wanted to give him something very special! Blake already had pretty much everything a person could want, money, fame and happiness because he is Rick Burgess's son of Rick & Bubba fame! Blake's girlfriend decided to get "BB" tatooed on her butt, a "B" on each butt cheek.

That night, after eating dinner and cake, she decided to give Blake her gift. After explaining that her gift was very special, she proceeded to bend over and pull her pants down, revealing her bare, tatooed derriere! She told "Blake" to look.

He looked and said, "That's great honey... but who in the heck is BOB?"

[Chechem]

How can you tell there's been an Aub in your backyard?

Your garbage is gone, and your dog's pregnant. 

[bamalum67]

WE all want to know where the "war Eagle" cry came from:

Back in the old days, the barn had a running back, an Indian, by the name of Eagle. Now, Eagle was not one to hit the books, so he was failing the animal husbandry class, and was going to be ineligible for the Iron Bowl. The coarch asked his prof to give him the final exam one more time..prof says OK, but it's gotta be Saturday at 2:30 pm.

Game commences, BAMA is beating the tiger crap out of the barners, because for the 1st half, no Eagle shows up...the barner fans all are aghast...where is their star player?  All at once a cry starts slowly and builds into a crescendo:

Whar Eagle?

Whar Eagle?

And history was made.

Ok, it's lame, but I do not claim it..it was printed in the CW back in the 60"s.

(at least gimme an e-cred for remembering!)

[BAMAWV]

WE all want to know where the "war Eagle" cry came from:

Back in the old days, the barn had a running back, an Indian, by the name of Eagle. Now, Eagle was not one to hit the books, so he was failing the animal husbandry class, and was going to be ineligible for the Iron Bowl. The coarch asked his prof to give him the final exam one more time..prof says OK, but it's gotta be Saturday at 2:30 pm.

Game commences, BAMA is beating the tiger crap out of the barners, because for the 1st half, no Eagle shows up...the barner fans all are aghast...where is their star player?  All at once a cry starts slowly and builds into a crescendo:

Whar Eagle?

Whar Eagle?

And history was made.

Ok, it's lame, but I do not claim it..it was printed in the CW back in the 60"s.

(at least gimme an e-cred for remembering!)

but no one here is old enough to know if you remembered correctly. LOL

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