Iron Bowl 2011 (amateur poetry)

      Iron Bowl 2011

   So much football, so little time,
   To scribble down this silly rhyme,
   To note the game we hold so dear,
   The Iron Bowl is almost here...

   What comes after 'Black Friday' you may say,
   This year, for Auburn, 'Black Saturday',
   A day on 'The Plains' that might not go well,
   When Bama turns loose 'Six Seconds of---well...'

   There're buses coming from out of the west,
   They'll stop on the way and the team will rest,
   But sooner or later they will arrive,
   In the outskirts of Opelika, off of I-85...

   They'll get off the bus, and the bus will be glad,
   They're a big ol' heavy bunch of lads,
   They'll look real pretty, in suits and ties,
   But don't be fooled, it's just a disguise...

   They're not doctors, lawyers or priests,
   They're big, strong, hairy, violent beasts,
   And their attitudes might just seem sore,
   'Cause they'll be looking to settle the score...

   In last year's game they stubbed their toe,
   Allowing Auburn to run and throw,
   And come from behind to take the win,
   And give true meaning to - "Never Again"...

   Now don't get them wrong, they didn't come to fight,
   Just to get on the field and set things right,
   To 'Dominate' for 60 minutes, if you please,
   And by the way, we're sorry 'bout them trees...

   Not that we would murder your plant,
   'Cause that's the kind of folks we ain't,
   We're proud to be the Crimson Tide,
   And we're not into herbicide...

   We don't want to kill your tree,
   We want to see our quarterback take a knee,
   To keep the score well within reason,
   And give ol' Aubie a 7-5 season...

   I know the game could be close, even 'squeaky',
   But Auburn's defense has, at times, been 'leaky',
   That's not mocking, that's just the truth,
   There hasn't been much love for Coach Ted Roof...

   And let's give the War Eagle offense a turn,
   Honk if you've played QB for Auburn!
   To say the least, they've had some bad luck,
   Good thing Coach Chizik sells Ford trucks...

   The offense at times, has been stoppin' and jerkin',
   But, still, a tip of the hat, to old Lutzenkirchen,
   A sure-handed dude, he's not too klutzy,
   And the crowd goes wild when he does 'the Lutzy'...

   But Lutzy better watch out for Bama's big moose,
   Donte Hightower, they call him 'Zeus',
   That's a name from Greek mythology,
   But number 30 is for real, you'll see...

   And he's got a buddy in number forty-one,
   Courtney Upshaw makes defense fun,
   When he hits people like a 20 pound sledge,
   Comin' like a freight train off the edge...

   When Bama's got the ball it's "Which way did he went?",
   Look for number 3, that's our man Trent,
   He don't say much, just a grin and a smile,
   Hand him the ball and he'll push the pile...

   You can tackle him by yourself if you can pay the price,
   And when they tote you off the field they'll give you some ice,
   'Cause when number 3 is startin' to cruise,
   He ain't stopping 'til he leaves a bruise...

   And dare I mention the BCS ?
   I've thought about it and the answer's Yes,
   Last weekend's games made me my head scratch,
   It must be that God wants to see the rematch...

   But Bama don't look too far ahead,
   Coach Saban says "Focus, on this week's game instead",
   "Perform to a standard and do your job",
   And if Bama does that there'll be no need to sob...

Roll Tide Roll!


   This year's been different in many ways,
   April brought deadly storms our way,
   We saw brothers and sisters fall,
   On the Bama and Auburn side of the ball...

   So, as we gather again to play this game,
   Let us look above and praise His name,
   For the freedom and the passion that we all hold,
   For the privilege to be part of 'The Iron Bowl'...

   May it ever be played with honor and class,
   May it never tarnish like copper or brass,
   May it always mean something with dignity and pride,
   And may there always be 'War Eagle!' and always be 'Roll Tide!'...

   Now to steal a line from Bob Crachit's son,
   "God bless us, -EVERY ONE!"

      XXX